One Young Single Dad's Question Gave Me Hope
Jul 27, 2026
I am fortunate to have conversations that stay with me long after the coaching session ends.
Recently, a young man was seeking coaching as he prepared to become a single father. He wanted support before his baby arrived. As we talked, it became clear he wasn't looking for a parenting checklist or the secret to getting everything right.
He wanted something much deeper.
At one point, he looked at me and asked,
"Based on everything you've experienced—raising your own children and working with families for more than 30 years—what's the most important thing I can do?"
I've been asked that question many times over the years.
But hearing it from him felt different.
Maybe it was because he wasn't asking how to be the perfect dad.
He wasn't asking how to avoid mistakes.
He wasn't asking how to raise the smartest or most successful child.
He simply wanted to know how to give his child what mattered most.
I didn't have to think very long.
My answer has never changed.
Be a constant presence.
Love your child unconditionally.
Everything else grows from there.
What Is Most Important in Parenting?
Parents often come to me looking for answers.
They want to know what to say, what consequence to give, or how to handle whatever challenge they're facing today.
Those are important conversations.
But after more than 30 years of walking alongside parents, teens, and young adults, I've learned something that never changes.
The relationship you build with your child is what everything else rests on.
When children know they're loved, accepted, and that you'll keep showing up—even after the hard days—they're much more open to your guidance.
Whether your child is five, fifteen, or twenty-five, that relationship matters.
What Children Need Most From Their Parents
After we talked about presence and unconditional love, we talked about what those words really mean.
Being present doesn't mean being perfect.
It means listening before jumping in with advice.
It means getting curious about what's underneath a behavior instead of reacting only to what you see.
It means apologizing when you've made a mistake.
It means asking for help when you need it instead of believing you have to figure everything out on your own.
Most of all, it means remembering what you're really trying to accomplish.
Not raising the child with the best grades.
Not raising the child who wins the most awards.
But raising a young adult who is kind, resilient, compassionate, and knows, without question, that they are loved.
That's the kind of success that lasts.
Why This Conversation Gave Me Hope
As I reflected on our conversation, I realized something.
What stayed with me wasn't my answer.
It was his question.
It's easy to become discouraged by the stories we hear about young people today.
Yet sitting across from me was a young man who, in many ways, is still just beginning his own adult life.
And his greatest concern wasn't himself.
It was his child.
He wanted to be the kind of father his child could count on.
He wanted to learn.
He wanted guidance.
He wanted to get it right—not because he expected perfection from himself, but because he already loved this little person enough to ask for help.
That gave me hope.
It reminded me that there are young people quietly preparing to become thoughtful, intentional parents.
People who understand that loving a child isn't about having all the answers.
It's about being willing to learn, to grow, and to keep showing up.
Maybe we don't hear enough about them.
If You're Wondering Whether You're Doing Enough...
If you're anything like the parents I work with, you've probably wondered if you're doing enough.
I hope you'll remember this.
Your child doesn't need a perfect parent.
They don't need someone who never loses patience or always knows the right thing to say.
They need someone who keeps showing up.
Someone who listens.
Someone who is willing to repair after the hard moments.
Someone who lets them know, again and again, that they are deeply loved.
After more than 30 years of working with families, I still believe those simple things matter more than anything else.
That day, a young single dad came looking for guidance.
He left me with something, too.
Hope.
Ready to Move Your Family FORWARD?
No matter what stage of parenting you're in, you don't have to navigate it alone.
If you're raising a teen or young adult and want practical tools to strengthen your relationship, improve communication, and better understand what's driving your child's behavior, I'd love to help.
Join my free parenting class, When Nothing Is Working, Try A New Lens and Move Your Family FORWARD. Save your spot here.
Siah Fried, MPH, NBC-HWC
Move FORWARD Coaching