"But My Kid Loves It.” Is Their Body Speaking Louder Than Their Words?
Sep 21, 2026
Headaches, stomachaches, trouble sleeping or exhaustion can be part of the message.
Here’s what to watch for and when to get curious about the load your child is carrying.
Lately, I’ve been coaching a lot of parents around the same concern. Back-to-school has brought back the homework, early mornings, academic pressure and packed schedules, while fall sports are in full swing.
Parents are telling me about kids with headaches, stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea, trouble sleeping, irritability and exhaustion.
And very often, somewhere in the conversation, I hear:
“But he loves it.”
Recently, I was talking with a dad whose child isn’t even 12 yet. His son was moving from one sport to the next while also experiencing headaches, stomachaches and diarrhea.
And yet, he loves playing.
He smiles when he’s out there. He wants to be with his teammates.
That’s what makes this so confusing.
Do we listen to the child saying, “I love it” or to the body that seems to be saying, “Something is a lot right now”?
Maybe we need to listen to both.
“I Love It” Is Information. So Is the Stomachache.
A child can genuinely love a sport and still be overwhelmed by everything surrounding it.
They can love the game, the teammates and the competition—and still be struggling with the total load.
Sometimes we hear “I love it” and stop asking questions.
But a smile on the field doesn’t erase what may be happening before school, before practice, at bedtime or the next morning.
Sometimes the body is talking louder than the words.
And when that happens, our first job isn’t necessarily to decide whether a child should quit.
It’s to get curious.
What else is going on? What has changed? What is this child carrying right now?
Not sure what’s really going on underneath your child’s behavior—or what first step would actually help?
My free 2-minute Parent Reflection Tool can help you step back, look at what may be driving the struggle, and identify the most helpful place to start moving forward.
Button: Get the Free Parent Reflection Tool
Kids Know What We Hope They’ll Say
I’ve been on the parent side of this too.
We may tell our child, “You know you can stop if you want to,” and genuinely mean it.
But our kids know us.
They hear us talk about the team, the coach, the tournament, the opportunity and how proud we are when they play well. Even when we never say it directly, they may know which answer we’re hoping to hear.
That doesn’t mean they’re being dishonest when they say they want to keep playing.
It just means their words aren’t the only information available to us.
Sometimes behavior tells us something too.
Sometimes the body does.
We Were Taught to Push Through
To be fair, many of us grew up hearing:
You’re tired? Go anyway.
You have a headache? Drink some water and get out there.
You’re nervous? That’s normal.
And sometimes that was exactly the right lesson.
Kids do need opportunities to tolerate discomfort, work through frustration and discover:
I can do hard things.
But we also have to be careful about assuming our kids are carrying the same overall load we were.
Today, practice may sit on top of hours of homework, academic pressure, friendship stress, social media, early mornings, late nights, lack of sleep, volunteer hours, travel teams, private training and very little downtime.
So maybe the question isn’t only:
“Can my child push through this practice?”
Maybe it’s:
“What is the cumulative load on this child right now?”
Sometimes the individual activity is manageable.
It’s the total load that isn’t.
Parents Are Afraid of Falling Behind Too
I hear this all the time:
“If he doesn’t play year-round baseball now, how is he ever going to make the high school team?”
And sometimes the child is eight.
That fear is real. When everyone else seems to be playing year-round, slowing down can feel like falling behind.
So I understand why “But he loves it” feels reassuring.
But wanting something and having the capacity for everything it currently requires are not always the same thing.
Behavior Is Often the Clue
When a child becomes irritable, avoidant, anxious, exhausted or physically uncomfortable, we often focus on fixing the behavior.
How do we get them back to school?
How do we get them to practice?
How do we make them more resilient?
Those may eventually be useful questions.
But another question should come first:
What might this behavior be trying to tell us?
Headaches, stomachaches, nausea and diarrhea can have many causes, and persistent or concerning physical symptoms deserve appropriate medical attention.
But we also don’t want to ignore patterns just because a child says they’re fine or because they still enjoy part of the experience.
Sometimes a child doesn’t yet have the words for:
“I love this, but I’m overwhelmed.”
“I want to keep playing, but I’m exhausted.”
“I don’t want to disappoint you.”
That’s why behavior matters.
We Don’t Have to Know the Solution Yet
Noticing these signs doesn’t automatically mean quitting the team or cancelling everything.
Maybe a child needs better coping strategies.
Maybe they need more recovery time.
Maybe the schedule needs to change.
Maybe they need help managing anxiety.
Maybe nothing drastic needs to happen at all.
We don’t have to decide what to do before we understand what the behavior may be trying to tell us.
And we don’t have to choose between:
“My child loves this.”
and
“My child may be struggling.”
Both can be true.
“I love it” is information.
The smile on the field is information.
The stomachache is information.
The exhaustion is information.
Our job is to step back and look at the whole child.
Behavior is often the clue—not the problem.
No blame. No shame. Just FORWARD.
Not sure what’s really going on underneath your child’s behavior—or how to help them move forward?
Start here. My free 2-minute Parent Reflection Tool can help you identify what may be driving the struggle and the most helpful first step to take.
Button: Get the Free Parent Reflection Tool