AP Classes and Student Pressure in the Tri-Valley

By Siah Fried, MPH, NBC-HWC
Certified Health & Wellness and Parent Coach

I work with families across the Tri-Valley who are trying to support their children through the growing pressures of school, achievement, and mental health. When I read that the Dublin Unified School District decided to limit the number of Advanced Placement classes students can take in high school, I immediately felt relief. I also immediately thought about the students and parents I meet every week.

Because behind every conversation about AP classes, GPA weighting, and college admissions is something I see regularly in my work: a quiet but powerful pressure to do more, achieve more, and never fall behind which often leads to feelings of inadequacy, discontent and exhaustion.

Dublin’s decision to limit AP classes was framed around protecting student mental health. Neighboring districts like Pleasanton Unified School District and Livermore Valley Joint Unified School District have said they are not planning to adopt similar limits. While policies may differ from district to district, the larger issue being debated is one that many families already feel every day: the growing pressure on students to constantly achieve and outperform.

What I See Working With Families

In my coaching practice, I work with parents and students who are bright, motivated, and deeply committed to their futures. They want to do well in school, participate in activities they care about, and make their parents proud. At the same time, many are carrying a level of pressure that can feel overwhelming. This pressure often shows up in their behavior or in their mental and physical health. Many kids and teens don’t yet have the words to express what they are feeling, and they worry about disappointing the people they love.

Parents often tell me they worry about their child’s anxiety, sleep deprivation, and the constant comparison students feel with their peers. Students describe feeling like they are on a treadmill that never stops. They feel the must take more AP classes, more extracurriculars, more leadership roles, and more pressure to build the “perfect” college application.

“If I don’t take the hardest classes, I feel like I’m already falling behind.”

I often hear students say things like that.

Parents feel it too. I’ve had parents tell me, “If I don’t sign my child up for soccer by age five, they’ll fall behind and won’t be able to play in high school.”

And sometimes I find myself stepping back and asking, “Wait…what are we doing here?”

Some students do thrive when challenged. But when challenge turns into relentless pressure, the emotional cost can be significant.

Recent tragedies in the Tri-Valley have reminded many of us how important student mental health truly is. Losses in neighboring communities have shaken families and schools alike, and they serve as a painful reminder that the well-being of our young people must remain a priority in every conversation about education and achievement.

Stress vs Pressure

One of the most important distinctions I talk about with families is the difference between stress and pressure.

Healthy stress can actually be beneficial. It prepares us to act, helps us rise to a challenge, and can push us to grow. Stress tends to have a purpose and an endpoint.

Pressure is different. Pressure often feels constant and tied to identity and worth. When students begin to believe their value depends on how much they achieve, learning can shift from curiosity and growth to performance and fear of falling behind.

Understanding this difference helps families guide students toward challenges that stretch them without overwhelming them.

The Myth About AP Classes and College Admissions

Another concern I hear frequently is the belief that students must take as many AP classes as possible in order to be competitive for college.

While challenging coursework can certainly demonstrate readiness for higher education, admissions officers consistently say they are looking for more than simply the highest number of weighted courses on a transcript.

They want to see intellectual curiosity, engagement with learning, depth of interest, and resilience when facing challenges.

More AP classes do not automatically translate into stronger college applications.

The conversation happening in local districts about AP limits is really part of a larger discussion about what healthy challenge should look like for today’s students.

Every child is different. For some students, taking multiple AP classes may feel energizing and motivating. For others, stacking too many demanding courses can create unnecessary stress and anxiety. Thoughtful guidance and balance are essential in helping students choose a path that supports both growth and well-being.

A Question for Parents

Ultimately, this debate raises a deeper question for families.

The goal of education should never be to simply build the most impressive transcript possible. It should be to help young people develop confidence, resilience, curiosity, and a healthy sense of balance in their lives.  I also encourage families to consider the benefit of encouraging their kids to be life long learners. This doesn't happen when they are burned out from school.

The students who tend to thrive in the long run are not necessarily the ones with the longest list of advanced classes. They are the ones who understand their strengths, pursue meaningful challenges, and feel supported by the adults around them.

What I often ask parents is a simple question:

If your child believed they were already enough,  even without the longest list of AP classes and activities,  how might their high school experience look different?

Would they choose the same schedule? Would they sleep more? Would learning feel more meaningful and less like a race? Would they hang out with friends more? Would they be happier and more easy going?  What about their physical and mental health, how would that look?

These questions do not have easy answers, and every family will approach them differently. But they are worth asking as communities continue to reflect on what success and well-being should look like for today’s students.

Moving From Pressure to Purpose

As parents and educators, we all want our kids to succeed. But success should not come at the cost of their well-being.

One of the goals of my work with families is helping them untangle what I call pressure culture which is the quiet but powerful belief that kids must constantly achieve more in order to be enough. I also refer the “checklist mentality,” where parents and kids feel they must follow an unspoken list of achievements in order to raise an accomplished young person.

When we begin to shift that mindset, students rediscover something that often gets lost in the race to build the perfect transcript: curiosity, confidence, and a genuine love of learning. And perhaps most importantly, they grow into happy, resilient young people with balanced physical and mental health.

Families across Pleasanton, Dublin, Livermore, the greater Tri-Valley and beyond are navigating these decisions every year as students balance challenge, expectations, and well-being.

If you're wondering whether your child is experiencing healthy stress or harmful pressure, I created a free guide to help families recognize the difference and start meaningful conversations at home. You can DOWNLOAD IT HERE.

Siah Fried, MPH, NBC-HWC

www.siahfriedcoach.com

Founder of Move FORWARD Parent Through Young Adult Coaching Program